Falling Away Read online

  Heading through the ATHLETICS door, I walked down the dim, carpeted hallway with offices to my left and right. Coach Burns, the football coach and a history teacher. Coach McNally, the girls’ tennis and soccer coach who also taught driver’s ed. There were a few more offices, but I kept my eyes focused straight ahead on the big, heavy-looking wooden door that read WEIGHT ROOM.

  I shook my head, trying to ignore the pounding of my heart in my chest. Jax wasn’t really having sex with a seventeen-year-old girl in here. No, he was smarter than that, right?

  And then I remembered the two girls I’d seen him with a couple of years ago. And I thought of Liam, who definitely wasn’t as smart as I’d thought.

  With my stomach clenching, I pushed lightly through the door and spotted both of them right away.

  Separate and clothed. Thank God.

  I let out a small breath and relaxed my shoulders. I didn’t know why the hell I cared, but … I swallowed.

  Just not her. He couldn’t go for her.

  The room was empty except for Jax and Sydney, and “Again” by Alice in Chains was playing on the CD player in the corner of the fully equipped room. I only knew the song because Tate listened to nothing but Alice in Chains when we’d first met. Two big fans were spinning from each side of the room, trying to keep it cool. The school had AC, but it was still stifling this time of year.

  Jax was lying back on a black weight bench, a dumbbell in each hand as he spread his arms wide and then brought them back in and straight up over his body, flexing every muscle in his glowing, tanned arms, abs, shoulders, and pecs.

  And I wanted her out of here.

  He still wore the same knee-length black shorts as before, and his legs were spread, a foot resting on each side of the bench as a vision of me straddling him on that bench popped into my head.

  I closed my eyes for a split second. I’m so fucking warped. I quickly swallowed the drool in my mouth before I accidentally drowned myself.

  “You liked my sister.”

  I heard Sydney talking, with her back to me.

  Jax’s tone was clipped. “Your sister’s cool.”

  “But not enough to come back for seconds,” Sydney taunted in a sexy voice, stepping up to the weight bench. “Wanna see if I’m better?” she asked.

  “Jesus Christ,” Jax grumbled under his breath.

  Dropping the dumbbells on the floor, he sat up and wiped his hand up his brow and over the top of his head, breathing hard.

  Jax was pissed. I didn’t know him well, but I knew that about him. Whenever I’d seen him angry, he always ran his hand through his hair. It was his tell.

  “Sydney,” I called, and watched both of their heads pop up to look at me. “Your friends are waiting in the parking lot. See you tomorrow.”

  Sydney paused, probably trying to figure out how she could get the upper hand. Jax was frozen, glaring at me under scary black eyebrows.

  Sydney arched an eyebrow before walking past me out of the door. She almost brushed my shoulder, and I could smell the anger on her. I was going to pay for that tomorrow.

  Cocking my head, I gave Jax an amused look.

  He shook his head, grabbing his towel off the floor. “Don’t give me that look. I didn’t ask her to come in here.”

  “Like I care.” I kept my voice casual, because I so totally did care. “Half the women in town have seen you naked.”

  He walked to a table, picking up a water bottle before turning his head to look at me. “That’s an exaggeration.” It sounded more like a warning instead of a statement.

  And I watched him tilt his head back and gulp down mouthfuls of water.

  Clearing my throat, I asked, “Why are you here? I thought you worked out at the gym.”

  He brought the bottle down and stood there, and I started to wonder if he was going to answer the question or not.

  “I assist the coach with lacrosse practice.”

  Hmm. Well, that was cool. I hadn’t pegged him for the volunteering type, but I wasn’t sure why. He’d been in lacrosse in high school, and although he was cocky, he was also giving.

  I’d noticed things like that in high school. He was generous. Generous with his time. Generous with his friends.

  But shit. I let out a quiet sigh of frustration.

  Jax was going to be around school a lot this summer. Damn it.

  Walk. IPod. Escape. Remembering the quiet time I was looking forward to, I turned to leave, but then I remembered something.

  I turned around and said, “I got a text from Liam, by the way.”

  “He texted you?” he asked, his eyes laughing. “Doesn’t listen to directions very well, does he?”

  “You told him not to contact me?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I can handle him on my own, Jax. And he wasn’t texting me before. Now he is, thanks to you, so just butt out.”

  A flush of anger spread down my body like a coat of paint.

  “I didn’t do it for you,” he said matter-of-factly as he wiped down his body with the white towel. “Liam’s had that coming for a long time now. He needed to be humbled.”

  Oh, what the …

  “You’ve got some ego!” I yelled. “I mean, yeah, all of a sudden you have money. Where you get it from is too scary to even think about,” I spouted off when I really should have just shut up. “And you seem to have the town’s police in the palm of your hand. You’re clearly running the Loop now. Congratulations, Jax.” I smiled a big-ass, fake grin. “You’re the most powerful man in Shelburne Falls, Illinois!”

  I planted my hands on my hips, pretty damn pleased at how good I’d gotten at putting men in their place.

  But then my smile dropped and my eyes rounded. Jax’s eyes—full of challenge and amusement—narrowed on me, and he tossed his towel down, heading right for me.

  Shit. I knew I should’ve listened to my mother. I talked too much.

  He nodded, a grin playing at the corner of his mouth. “There she is.”

  I inched back to the wall as he advanced into my space. “What are you talking about?”

  “The snarky girl I met at Madoc’s house years ago.”

  Yeah, the one that was slightly drunk and hella confident? My head bobbed off the wall, signaling I was at a damn dead end, and a trickle of sweat skidded down my neck. I saw Jax’s eyes flash to it, and all of a sudden I was too dumb to even remember my own name.

  God, he was big. My chest vibrated with the heat of him only an inch away. He hovered over me, engulfing and consuming the space around me, making me feel as if I stood in the shadow of a tree.

  Staring straight ahead, I made a conscious effort to keep my face straight. But it was almost impossible, and it was pointless. Out of all the reasons I could come up with for hating Jax—he always challenged and pushed me, and he always did whatever the hell he wanted—I could never claim that he wasn’t smart. He knew I was affected. He knew my body liked him close.

  “I love it when you get mouthy,” he whispered down on me. “It makes me want to shut you up.”

  Son of a bitch. I clenched my thighs together, feeling about ready to scream at the moisture I felt there.

  I needed to get out of here. “I have to go.” I pushed off the wall but hit his chest, closing me in again.

  “How do you like your community service?” he said low, trapping me by planting his hands on the wall on each side of my head.

  Huh?

  His smell was raw heat. Summer. Sticky cotton candy on a Ferris wheel and cool water on hot skin.

  “What?” He’d asked me a question. What the fuck did he just ask?

  He leaned on his hands, dipping his head close to mine. “Community service, K.C. How do you like it?”

  I could hear the laughter in his voice. Little shit.

  “I don’t,” I mumbled. “Teaching a bunch of kids who slacked off during the school year, because they didn’t get the attitude adjustment they needed, isn’t my idea of a good time.”

  His arms l
owered a bit, and I could hear him inhaling through his nose, as if he was smelling me.

  “Your idea of a good time got you here in the first place.” His voice was calm but firm. “And those kids don’t need an attitude adjustment. You do.”

  I smirked. “Well, I’m getting one, thanks to the great state of Arizona.” Then I pinned him with hard eyes. “You don’t know me, Jax.” And I pushed him away and turned for the door.

  But he hooked my arm, pulling me back.

  “You’re right,” he said quickly. “I don’t know you. So why don’t you enlighten me? What does K.C. stand for? What did you do at college that got you arrested?”

  When I just stood there, not answering his stupid questions, he backed me into the wall again. “Let’s try something easier, shall we? Your favorite color. What is it?”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Are you stalling?”

  I scowled. “Pink. It’s pink.”

  “Is it?” he pressed. “How about music? Who’s your favorite band? What about books? Your favorite genre? When was the last time you ate chocolate or stayed in your pajamas past eleven in the morning?”

  I didn’t know if the walls were closing in or if it was just Jax crowding me. “What are you getting at, you little shit?” I accused.

  And he got in my face, smiling at the challenge of my condescending name-calling. “How about a shower, K.C.?” The sound of his deep, husky voice swirled in my stomach and shot downward.

  I gulped, licking my sandpaper lips. “Huh?”

  He stared at my mouth, looking hungry. “The little shit—who’s not so little anymore—needs a shower,” he whispered, still staring at my mouth. “Take a shower with me. Right now.”

  I flattened my hands against the wall, the cool white-painted concrete blocks relieving the heat in my chest. Where the hell was he going with this? He didn’t want a shower with me.

  I arched an eyebrow, trying to appear calmer than I was. “You called me gutless and helpless, Jax. Now you want to shower with me?”

  “Show me, then.” There was a sincere look in his eyes, serious, as if he was searching my face for something. “Show me you’re not gutless. Take a chance.” He narrowed his eyes, imploring me, and I think I swallowed my heart, because my whole damn body was throbbing.

  “I’m being serious,” he said quietly. “The team’s gone. We’d be alone. Walk into the locker room with me. Get in the shower with me. Show me how bold you are.”

  I tried to say no, but the word was stuck in my throat. I wanted to say it, but I wouldn’t have meant it.

  He reached down and took my pinky, rolling it between his fingers.

  Looking down, he continued in the softest whisper. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.” And then he raised his gaze, killing me with the hint of sadness in his blue eyes. “You only have to walk, K.C. That’s it. I’ll get you out of your clothes. All you have to do is follow me. I know you want to.”

  I dropped my eyes, and my face felt as if it would splinter in pain into a thousand cracks like paint on a China doll. Tears burned my eyes.

  I did want to. I wanted someone to hold me and touch me, wanting to be with me.

  He leaned in, the breath from his mouth fanning my lips. “Take a chance,” he whispered.

  I fisted my hands, then stretched my fingers and fisted them again. The urge was there. To reach out and touch him. Wrap my arm around his neck. Take his hand and let him lead me.

  But I didn’t even have the will to make my legs move. He’d laugh at me. He’d use me. He’d see nothing worth keeping around. Soon he’d hate me.

  Blinking away the tears, I looked up, not caring that he saw my watery eyes. And I shook my head.

  He studied me, searching my expression, and I couldn’t tell if he was angry, disappointed, or disgusted.

  He dropped his arms and stood up straight, the warm bubble his body created around me gone cold. “You’re afraid of yourself,” he said flatly. “Not me.”

  And then he backed up, looking down at me and down on me. “And that’s why you’re gutless, K.C.”

  Gutless. I bared my teeth, so fucking sick of him saying that.

  “I have to shower.” All the softness from his voice was now gone. “You need to leave.”

  And he turned around and strode for the men’s locker room.

  I shook my head. I’m not gutless. I don’t want to be gutless.

  I sniffled and cleared my throat, standing tall. “Maybe I just don’t want you,” I blurted out, and steeled my body when he spun around, looking surprised. “Maybe I just don’t want you, Jax.”

  And I breathed out a small laugh as I spun around and headed for the door.

  But before I even reached the handle, an arm circled my waist, yanking me back into his warm body, and I gasped just as my hair was swiped to the side and a hot mouth was on my neck.

  Everything fell apart.

  My knees buckled, my eyes closed, and my neck fell to the side, inviting him in.

  Oh, my God.

  I couldn’t think. I couldn’t pull away. I couldn’t stop him. His scorching mouth spread over my neck, breathing hot air on my skin that was already on fire, and he barely moved, as if he’d lost control just like me. As if he had just craved the contact. His teeth grazed my skin, rough but not hard, and he slid his lips and teeth over the sensitive area under my ear, and I wasn’t sure if he was kissing me or getting ready to eat me.

  My chest shook, and I held on to his arm across my waist, but I didn’t need to. He held me so tight I couldn’t take in the deep breaths I hungered for.

  But I could feel him, and that was all I cared about. His cock pressed into my back, and I writhed into him as his lips started moving on my skin. He scattered short kisses across my neck, at the base, and under my ear. His tongue flicked my earlobe right before his other hand reached around and turned my chin to him.

  And then his mouth was on mine. I moaned, probably sounding as though I was in pain, but I couldn’t help it. The tornado between my legs was powerful and sweet, and it made me feel like an animal. Wild and … just simply wild.

  Jax’s tongue found mine, and I groaned into his mouth, inhaling his scent while his powerful body held me. The heat, the wetness, the taste, everything was hard and fast as his lips worked mine.

  As he kept an arm around my waist, his other hand left my face and went straight under my skirt into my underwear.

  “Oh,” I whimpered a muffled groan into his mouth that still held me hostage. What was he doing? I needed to stop this!

  But my eyes fluttered as his smooth fingers dipped into my center, swirling the wetness already there around my clit.

  And then his mouth left mine, and he yanked me up off my feet and growled in my ear.

  “You’re so wet for me, K.C.” His voice was hard and threatening. “Gutless, helpless, and a fucking liar, too.”

  And then he dropped me, and I fell on my ass to the mats, shaking with confusion.

  All I heard behind me was a door open and close, and I knew I was alone.

  Bringing a shaky hand to my mouth, I sucked in air as if it were going out of style. Holy shit.

  CHAPTER 5

  K.C.

  The air in the high school sat like a layer of wet clothes on my skin, dense and moist. It almost took effort to move through it on my way to the front office.

  But I liked it.

  Adding to the dimly lit hallways and the sound of rain threatening harder and harder against the roof, the atmosphere drowned out the evidence that anyone else lived in the world but me. And I needed that feeling right now.

  More than just Jax’s kiss had hit a nerve the other day, and I kept swirling his words around in my head. How was it that he knew me so well? He anticipated every argument that came out of my mouth and calculated my reactions, knowing the outcome beforehand, and I couldn’t keep up. Now, a week later, he was still on my mind as much as food and breathing.

  I re
ally wanted to hit him, and I wasn’t sure why.

  Christ. I tucked my hair behind my ear as I continued down the hall.

  It had started storming an hour ago. Since they kept most of the lights off in the school during the summer days—except for the ones in the classroom—to conserve electricity, the only reminder that it was late morning was the reflections of rain bouncing off the windows and their shadows dancing on the walls. We’d just finished both sessions, but you wouldn’t know it. Already the school was nearly empty. Cheerleading and lacrosse never showed up, because of the weather, and at least a third of the tutoring students were absent as well.

  Tutoring. I let out a sigh, moving down the steps.

  Our progress had been slow during the past few days, the kids having mentally checked out because of summer break, I was sure. Although I had a few students I enjoyed—Ana was actually cooperative and apt with her skills—the lot of them were a struggle, and I knew I was doing something wrong. They wouldn’t volunteer, they wouldn’t answer questions, and they weren’t happy. I sucked.

  But when I looked around at the other tutors and their groups, I saw the same pattern. Disinterest and flat-out boredom. Of course, who would want to spend their summer break cooped up in a hot classroom when their friends were at Swansea Lake swimming, drinking, and making out? And why should I worry if they succeeded in school? If they didn’t care, then neither should I.

  But that was a shit response, and I knew it. I did care.

  “Those kids don’t need an attitude adjustment. You do.”

  Damn Jax.

  Jax, whom I had barely seen since the kiss last Monday.

  Jax, who had me stealing looks out the window as he ran, laughed, and sweated on the field.

  Jax, who literally dumped me on my ass after kissing me breathless in the weight room.

  Jax, who used to watch me in high school, and now I was the one watching him.

  I dug in my heels, pulled open the main office door, and stepped through, looking around for a sign of anyone. The room was spooky, void of any light, life, or noise aside from the echoes of rain coming from every direction. The reflection of the storm created bubbles of light on all the countertops, and the sound of waterfalls surrounded me, hitting all four walls.